I threw a bit of a temper tantrum this morning.
No one heard - I didn't ACTUALLY yell - but I was running late AND nothing fit right AND the damn scale told me I weighed exactly the same amount as I did last week. Despite eating properly (except for a Butterfinger yesterday... and that donut I discovered as part of a fundraiser for Special Olympics) and exercising (except for those two days I took off when I was busy).
See, I've lost about 25 pounds since January first.
Which is great and I bought new clothes and people said all sorts of nice things. Which one might think is a reason to celebrate. UNTIL I CONSIDER I NEED TO LOSE 25 MORE POUNDS. According to some chart in my doctor's office, taking 25 more pounds off would put me at the top range of "healthy weight" for someone my height. So, I suppose I really need to lose 30 more pounds so there's some sort of buffer. Whatever.
In a way, it's kind of like letting someone who has just run a half-marathon stop for water and stretch and then pushing them along their way. Of course, I realize that must be done if said runner is ever going to finish said marathon, but I might just start crying.
And even worse than the fact that the scale barely seems to budge anymore is the fact that these khakis I bought NOT EVEN THREE WEEKS AGO don't fit. Without a belt, they literally slide right off my hips while buttoned and zipped. Cinched up with a belt, they look completely ridiculous - like those boys who "sagged" their jeans so far in middle school that the principal gave them rope to use as a belt. My khakis were a little loose when I bought them but now -- can't wear them.
Of course, I realize something (not bad) must be happening to my body if clothes are fitting differently. And despite mentions of Butterfingers and skipped workout, I have been staying on track with a few little splurges - not falling off the bandwagon. But still, sometimes I can't help but feel frustrated that this isn't easier.
The signs that I must keep going are all around me. Yours Truly Trayce called upon a Janis Joplin quote when she wrote about being in a similar place: "Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got." She's right; I can't give up on myself just because things get harder. (Sigh).
And then Leanne talked about drinking tons of water. I HAVE been choosing coffee and Diet Coke over water too often lately. So much so that I bought Visene because my eyelids seemed to be sticking to my contacts after 6 p.m. or so. Surely that's a sign of dehydration, right?
And then another 3-Day blogger wrote about not accepting excuses. And so did MakeUnderMyLife. And I know that even though I haven't been living unhealthily, I don't have anything but excuses for not digging deeper and trying harder. So, yeah, I'll shut up and get on with it all ready...
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25 lbs! Girl you ROCK!!! The scale isn't always the best way to judge how your body is changing. You are doing everything right. Frustrating as it is, clothes that are too big is typically a good thing. ;-) Drinking lots of water works for me. My tummy is full and I eat less, but even more than that, I really feel better. Skin looks better, body feels better, less headaches, etc.
You are an inspiration to me to get back on track after my cookie binge yesterday! ;-)